We have all met that one person in church. You know the type. They need to be the center of attention. They need to have the final say on everything. If you disagree with them, you aren't just "wrong," you become the enemy.
Believe it or not, this isn't a new problem. It’s as old as the New Testament. In the tiny letter of 3 John, the Apostle John warns us about a man named Diotrephes.
Let’s be real for a moment and look at who this guy was, how he affects groups like the Former Adventists Philippines, and what we should do when we encounter him today.
Who Was Diotrephes?
John paints a very clear picture of this man in 3 John 9–10. He didn't have a theology problem as much as he had an attitude problem.
Here is the profile John gives us:
- He loved the spotlight: John says he "loves to be first" (or loves to have the preeminence). It wasn't about Jesus; it was about Diotrephes.
- He rejected authority: He refused to acknowledge John, an actual Apostle who walked with Jesus!
- He was malicious: He gossiped and spoke nonsense against the leaders.
- He was a gatekeeper: He refused to welcome traveling missionaries (brothers) and even kicked people out of the church if they tried to help these visitors.
The Context Matters
In the early church, traveling teachers were the lifeline of the gospel. They moved from town to town sharing the good news. Hospitality wasn't just being nice; it was essential for the mission.
Diotrephes stopped this cold. Why? Likely because these visitors threatened his control. If a missionary came with a word from John, Diotrephes wouldn't be the "top dog" anymore. He sacrificed the mission of the church just to protect his own position.
The Contrast: Be a Gaius, Not a Diotrephes
John didn’t just complain; he gave a positive example. He wrote the letter to Gaius (3 John 1–8).
- Diotrephes was about power.
- Gaius was about truth and love.
While Diotrephes was busy locking doors, Gaius was opening them. He supported the missionaries and walked in the truth. John tells Gaius, "Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good" (3 John 11).
Modern Application: The Diotrephes in Our Circle
Now, let’s bring this home to the Former Adventists Philippines community and the wider body of Christ.
Many of us left a high-control religious environment. We left systems where authority was top-down, questioning was discouraged, and "the organization" often came before the individual. We walked away from legalism to find rest in the New Covenant.
But here is the danger: Sometimes, we carry the ghosts of the past with us.
A "modern Diotrephes" in a Former Adventist group might look like this:
- The "New Guru": They claim to have the "only" correct interpretation of the gospel. They traded one set of rules for another, and if you don't agree with their specific view of the New Covenant, you are "not truly saved" or "still in bondage."
- The Divider: They discourage you from listening to other solid Christian teachers because they want to be your only source of truth.
- The Bully: They use malicious words or gossip to discredit anyone who questions their leadership style.
This is dangerous because it rebuilds the very walls we tried to tear down. The New Covenant is about freedom in Christ and serving one another in love, not about establishing a new hierarchy of power.
How Do We Deal With a Diotrephes?
So, what do we do when we spot this spirit in our local church or fellowship group? We cannot just ignore it, but we also shouldn't fight fire with fire.
1. Call it out (with wisdom)
John said, "So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us" (3 John 10). We need to be brave enough to name the behavior. If someone is being controlling or malicious, it needs to be addressed. We don’t do this to shame them, but to protect the flock.
2. Stick to the Truth
A Diotrephes relies on manipulation. We must rely on the Word. In our context, we stand firm on the finished work of Christ. We remind them that in the New Covenant, we are all brothers and sisters. No one holds a "mediator" position over us except Jesus.
3. Do not let them stop the work
Diotrephes tried to stop the missionaries. John told Gaius to keep supporting them anyway. If a controlling person tries to stop the fellowship or discourage you from reaching out to others, don’t let them. Continue to show hospitality. Continue to share the gospel. Do not let one person’s bad attitude paralyze the mission.
4. Love them, but set boundaries
We are called to love our enemies, and that includes difficult believers. However, love does not mean letting them destroy the community. You can forgive someone while also removing them from leadership if they are hurting the body of Christ.
The Bottom Line
Leadership in the family of God is never about "being first." Jesus settled this in Matthew 20:26: "Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant."
Let’s protect our freedom in Christ. Let’s watch out for the spirit of Diotrephes not just in others, but in our own hearts too. Let’s strive to be like Gaius: open hands, open doors, and walking in the truth.
Former Adventists Philippines
“Freed by the Gospel. Firm in the Word.”
For more inquiries, contact us:
Email: formeradventist.ph@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/formeradventistph
Former Adventists Philippines Association, Inc
SEC Registration No: 2025090219381-03
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